I used to be the King… The King of all Broadway.
– Max Bialystock, “The Producers”
I miss working.
After spending 20 months at home, taking care of my 3 young girls, I miss working with people; creating; and leading.
I always loved the complexity and high stakes – aka the action – and that part of my life is not complete.
2 years back, I really was “The King” – leading the development of a complex product, a large team, with people coming to me for advice, guidance and directions many times a day.
Shortly after I left Cisco, the market became so hot that I would regularly hear about people much less senior, and possibly less capable, making so much money through IPO-s, mergers, and even just regular pay that it create a huge FOMO pressure.
Can I really afford myself a new car? it would’ve been trivial had I been working.
Am I missing out on the crazy paydays in the market? yes, and it’s hard for me to be agnostic to this.
And the biggest one: will anyone want to hire me again when I’ve been unemployed (by choice) for 2-5 years? and if so, will it be for the leadership roles I enjoy so much?
During this period, I interviewed for senior roles at several companies, but declined all offers – anything from developer to VP R&D. Some of them were super-interesting proposal that I would’ve taken on the spot a few years ago.
When the time to choose came, I always felt the right balance for me is to stay with my girls for a while more; to know I can always pick them up after kindergarten, and that if they want to stay at home with daddy today (or the entire week…) that’s OK.
Some of the gaps in doing and creating were filled by volunteering activity, such as getting an ISP to deploy fiber optics at my parents village – projects allowing me to use my skillset, handle negotiations etc, but without requiring 24/7 involvement.
New opportunities still give me a rush, but as I look at each of them, I usually come back to the same conclusion: I do not know if it will be today, tomorrow or in the far future, but it’ll probably be my own company.
That’s a better match for where I am today.
I am happy I chose to stay at home with my girls; it was a good decision, and it brings joy to my heart.
I miss working, and the crazy-high pay makes the feeling of missing out much bigger.
Both of these feelings are there every day, and that’s OK.
Here’s my point: learn to understand and contain complex scenarios.
Strive to figure out what’s the right balance for you, and to build the emotional stamina to enjoy this balance in the face of never-ending new opportunities.
Cheers.